Updated: Sept 27, If you've ever watched an episode of Catfish, you know how treacherous the texting waters can be. Texting builds an almost intimate bond that can sometimes make it harder to meet face-to-face, because now your meeting is fraught and full of high stakes. That being said, you should do some pre-date texting to check for deal-breakers, and more importantly, for safety reasons.
So, the question is, how long to text before having a first date is the right amount of time? Is it better to move quickly into the first date, or should you take it slow and really get to know as much as you can about the person via text before meeting face to face? To help figure out what the "right" amount of time to text is before going on a date, I reached out to online dating experts.
They explain why the timeline between digital and real life contact may be shorter than you think, and how to know when and if you're ready to take that next step. Here is what they had to say. How Long To Text Before Meeting In Person Shutterstock When it comes to making the move from digital chat to real-life chat, my tactic was always to move slowly and really get to know the person well before moving on to setting up an actual date. Oftentimes, what would happen was either the conversation would dry up or, when we did finally meet up in person, there was an inevitable letdown.
I figured that was just how online dating went. You want to meet in person as quickly as online dating the first date because some people can have great texting chemistry but then aren't attracted to the person. When it comes to moving from texting to the first date, the sooner the better. But as online dating expert Julie Spira explains, it can often just be because online dating is a numbers game.
What You Should Know About Them Before The Date So, if the timeline for texting is a week or less, how much should you actually try to learn about that person before the date?
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She adds that no matter how much you get to know one another over text, "you cannot know if you have a true connection or not until you meet. Have Fun! Are you new to online dating or looking to improve your success using it? When it comes to moving from texting to the first date, the sooner the better. If you don't, maybe someone else will, and life is too short to be filled with regrets.I once talked to a woman for two months before we met. She adds that no matter how much you get to know one another over text, "you cannot know if you have a true connection or not until you meet. You can come up with a reason you can only be out for a set amount of time but most people will not press very hard to find out why. A grown woman or man if the lady is asking can decide in a few weeks if she would like to meet you — someone looking for a pen pal should do so somewhere else. Spira says online dating the first date keep it light in the pre-date text conversations, and suggests limiting it to shared interests and passions. If you try to fit yourself into some arbitrary box for the other person, you end up losing yourself in the process. However, if you're just worried you're rushing things, the experts say not to worry about that — the sooner the better. Do what you need to feel physically, emotionally or mentally safe, and do it unapologetically. I never went for phone conversations as a stepping stone from internet communication to meeting. Movies are the worst first date idea in my opinion. Let the other person pitch to you.
Am I talking too much? If you really hit it off on the phone for example, did you talk for two hours without even realizing it? Updated: Sept 27, If you've ever watched an episode of Catfish, you know how treacherous the texting waters can be. If it doesn't feel enjoyable, don't torture yourself. If you don't, maybe someone else will, and life is too short to be filled with regrets.Search this website Home The First Date Actually meeting the person you are talking to is one of the most important steps to online dating. That sounds amusing but many online daters dwell on internet communication overly long. They wanted me to get the show on the road and they were right to feel that way. It is important to meet early on so less time is spent talking to the wrong person and more time is spent trying to find the right one. When to Ask for the First Date Sooner rather than later. The first date should be planned not long after communication has begun. It is personal preference on how long to wait but there are very few reasons to delay. After all, contacting someone is just a pre-cursor to the first date. You want to talk with them and if things go well meet them. One common reason to delay a first date is due to an attempt to learn more about the other person. This is not a very good reason. I found the first few minutes of the first date are worth more than dozens of emails. Another reason to delay would be if the person you are communicating with has expressed extreme reservations about meeting people from the internet.
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Should you talk on the phone or FaceTime before the first date?After all, who's to say you'll even have an IRL connection with this total stranger? But it's important to remember that first dates don't necessarily have to be cause for stress: even if it doesn't turn into a second datethat's OK! Dates are just an opportunity to meet someone newhave fun, or, at the very least, learn something about yourself like what you don't like in a date. Don't let your date pressure you into anything and have an escape like an alarm set like a ringtone ready if you need it. A setting that has a fairly low noise level is a good idea so that conversation can flow smoothly. Don't get hung up on small things and keep the big picture in mind. You can always decline the next date if you don't sense any chemistry. Jump right in there with the big questions you want answers to — who are they as a person and do you guys have anything in common? Plus they are great ways to share YOU and how you work if told correctly. Plus they can help you see who the other person is sitting across from you. AlperovichM. What ends up happening is that you are essentially trying to pitch yourself to the other person. Let the other person pitch to you. If you try to fit yourself into some arbitrary box for the other person, you end up losing yourself in the process. Prioritize your needs, no one else will do that part for you. You have every right to feel safe while dating, whatever that means to you. Do what you need to feel physically, emotionally or mentally safe, and do it unapologetically. Those who are a good match will be respectful and understanding.